Mutation Vacation

Dear awesome advice lady,
First off I think your blog just might save the human race. Secondly I have a predicament. I have been living in this awful place known as Oklahoma for the past 5 months, and have realized that the people here are not only stupid but are breeders. Therefore they are breeding more idiots into our society. I don't necessarily want them all to die but can you think of a way to sterilize this state so they can no longer spawn. With the world being over populated already I think it unfair for these idiots to be overcrowding it with morons.
Please Help!
Surrounded by idiots



Dear Surrounded,
While I am not versed in mass-sterilization techniques, I do have some advice for your situation. Here's what you should do: Actually, here are 3 things you should do:
#1. Have sex with as many backwoods, rural, Oklahoman men (I assume you are a lady, but if you are a gentleman, please ignore this advice and move on to advice point #2) as possible, so that you will insert your non-idiot genes into the local gene pool. This may help with the overall intelligence level of the next generation, but unless you convince these people to stop impregnating their own daughters/sisters/mothers, this will only be a stop-gap measure.
#2. Kick every man you meet in the balls, thereby making their nether regions so uncomfortable that any idea of sex, even with their beloved favorite daughter/sister/mother will be unsavory.
#3. Move the hell away from there, and never speak of it again.


Edit: It has just occurred to this advisor that her significant other is a native of the great state of Oklahoma, and she would like to point out that roses can, indeed, grow in shit (or so I am told).