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Friday, July 10, 2009

Baby Factory 2

Dear Advisor,
I have a similar problem to another one of your readers, apparently. I
also keep getting pregnant! I can't figure out why. I'm a man, and a
eunuch at that. How is this happening? I've narrowed it down to a few
1. Even though I have unprotected sex with strange men all the time, I
must be having virgin births.
2. Buttplugs turn into babies.
3. This is all a dream!
Lip my stockings,
Baby factory

Dear Factory,
Are you sure that you're actually a man? Do you remember when you became a eunuch? The reason I ask these probing questions is that I suspect you may actually be a really ugly chick.
Here's what you should do: Look deep inside your soul, and ask yourself if maybe you've been living a lie. Maybe what you think is your asshole is actually a vagina? And, maybe that cucumber you keep in your pocket isn't actually a penis? Just think about it for a while. In the meantime, I would recommend that you get one of these ASAP. It could only help. Seriously.