Dear Adviceary,
My friend, the Arab, looks like a Sasquatch. What should I do? Also
his camel has fangs.
~Scared and hiding in the backwoods
Dear Scared,
I believe your friend, the "Arab", is only posing as an Arab so that you will not suspect that he is, in fact, a Sasquatch. Here's what you should do: get in touch with these people. Perhaps they can come out to meet your friend, make a cast of his foot, or maybe make a life-size statue of him. In any case, you shouldn't be afraid, because everyone except Teddy Roosevelt thinks that Sasquatches are perfectly harmless.
However, I'm afraid that your friend's camel may be el chupacabra, which is highly dangerous. If this is the case (and, for my amusement, I hope it is), I suggest you not get too close to the creature, because it will suck out every last drop of blood from your veins. Perhaps your "Arab" friend can protect you?
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why would you be hiding in the backwoods from something that lives in the backwoods? would you not be safer hiding in a city? Quandaries!
ReplyDeleteI'm hiding in the backwoods because I'd have to come out of hiding to leave.. and he would surely see me! This message is getting to you via wireless internet, so I must be somewhat close to the city though.... send in reinforcement! I'm hiding in a zebra carcass.
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