Dear Advisor,
I have a similar problem to another one of your readers, apparently. I
also keep getting pregnant! I can't figure out why. I'm a man, and a
eunuch at that. How is this happening? I've narrowed it down to a few
possibilities:
1. Even though I have unprotected sex with strange men all the time, I
must be having virgin births.
2. Buttplugs turn into babies.
3. This is all a dream!
Lip my stockings,
Baby factory
Dear Factory,
Are you sure that you're actually a man?  Do you remember when you became a eunuch?  The reason I ask these probing questions is that I suspect you may actually be a really ugly chick.  
Here's what you should do: Look deep inside your soul, and ask yourself if maybe you've been living a lie.  Maybe what you think is your asshole is actually a vagina?  And, maybe that cucumber you keep in your pocket isn't actually a penis?  Just think about it for a while.  In the meantime, I would recommend that you get one of these ASAP.  It could only help.  Seriously.
Friday, July 10, 2009
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